I realized that I never did tell the story of how I became a divorced, single mom. Let me tell you how it all began.....
Once upon a time.......ha ha just kidding!
On October 24th 2008, I married (who I thought was) the man of my dreams. It was not until four years later I would realize that was not the case. My marriage honestly was great, we didn't have arguments, we got along great. Until I realized that I was very blind and naive to what was going on around me. Three years into our marriage we decided to try to have a child. It took us six months, but then in March of 2012 I was pregnant with our first child. We were both so excited and couldn't be happier. I thought my life was perfect. In May of 2012 we found out we were having a boy, my husband was ecstatic as he wanted a boy more than anything. Then in June is when it all went down hill from there.
I first found out that my (ex) husband had been messaging a girl that he worked with. We began to argue constantly about it. Then one night he came home and confessed to me that he had a problem with pornography and had it our whole marriage.. I was naive to basically our whole life together. When we would go six months without sex, being newly married, I thought that was normal. This took me by complete surprise and I didn't know what to do. I was four months pregnant with our son and I didn't want to leave everything. I stayed a week at my parents house while he had some time to figure things out. He finally told me to come home and we tried to work on things. But I could no longer trust him. I was crying all the time and I was not sleeping at night. He was gamer and constantly on his computer. We began to argue all the time, almost every day over the dumbest things such as cleaning up and who was going to do dinner that night. Finally, one night in September he told me he was done and that I should go to my parents house. I was heart broken. Everything that I had worked towards was gone. (This was all a week before I had my son. Which that story is under Birthday Party!)
He hardly came around after our son was born. I decided in October of 2012 that I was going to remove all of my stuff from the house, I knew there was another girl staying there. That was confirmed when I went there to get my things. I saw her stuff all over the house. It made me sick to my stomach, that another person could do this. Stay at a man's house whose child was in the NICU and his wife was in the hospital. We still had our wedding pictures hung up in the house. I took all my pictures with me. While cleaning out the house, I noticed his old phone was on the nightstand. I took it, cause I knew it would confirm my darkest fear. I couldn't the phone to unlock and gave it to my brother. He was able to unlock the phone and read all the text messages. He told me not to read the messages, of course I didn't listen. I burst out into tears of the messages he had sent to this girl and pictures. How he had told his friends that I was lame and boring. It was like I had been beaten further and further into the ground. I disposed of the phone and never looked at it again after that.
In December of 2012 I filed for divorce. I knew that our lives would be much better without him. I could not live with that forever and I wanted my son to have a better life. In August 2013 our divorce was final. Don't ask me why it took sooooooooo long. I am glad that it is over. He does do his every other weekends with his son and pay his child support, but that is all he is to his son. Frankly, my son deserves so much better than that. He deserve someone who will always be there for him, will support him in his dreams and ambitions, and let him know that he can accomplish anything that he sets his mind to. I will be that rock for my son. My life is in a much better place right now. Yes I am a single mom, but I wouldn't change what happened to me for anything else in the world. I have learned so much from that experience and my son is my greatest blessing.
No comments:
Post a Comment