I realized that I never did tell the story of how I became a divorced, single mom. Let me tell you how it all began.....
Once upon a time.......ha ha just kidding!
On October 24th 2008, I married (who I thought was) the man of my dreams. It was not until four years later I would realize that was not the case. My marriage honestly was great, we didn't have arguments, we got along great. Until I realized that I was very blind and naive to what was going on around me. Three years into our marriage we decided to try to have a child. It took us six months, but then in March of 2012 I was pregnant with our first child. We were both so excited and couldn't be happier. I thought my life was perfect. In May of 2012 we found out we were having a boy, my husband was ecstatic as he wanted a boy more than anything. Then in June is when it all went down hill from there.
I first found out that my (ex) husband had been messaging a girl that he worked with. We began to argue constantly about it. Then one night he came home and confessed to me that he had a problem with pornography and had it our whole marriage.. I was naive to basically our whole life together. When we would go six months without sex, being newly married, I thought that was normal. This took me by complete surprise and I didn't know what to do. I was four months pregnant with our son and I didn't want to leave everything. I stayed a week at my parents house while he had some time to figure things out. He finally told me to come home and we tried to work on things. But I could no longer trust him. I was crying all the time and I was not sleeping at night. He was gamer and constantly on his computer. We began to argue all the time, almost every day over the dumbest things such as cleaning up and who was going to do dinner that night. Finally, one night in September he told me he was done and that I should go to my parents house. I was heart broken. Everything that I had worked towards was gone. (This was all a week before I had my son. Which that story is under Birthday Party!)
He hardly came around after our son was born. I decided in October of 2012 that I was going to remove all of my stuff from the house, I knew there was another girl staying there. That was confirmed when I went there to get my things. I saw her stuff all over the house. It made me sick to my stomach, that another person could do this. Stay at a man's house whose child was in the NICU and his wife was in the hospital. We still had our wedding pictures hung up in the house. I took all my pictures with me. While cleaning out the house, I noticed his old phone was on the nightstand. I took it, cause I knew it would confirm my darkest fear. I couldn't the phone to unlock and gave it to my brother. He was able to unlock the phone and read all the text messages. He told me not to read the messages, of course I didn't listen. I burst out into tears of the messages he had sent to this girl and pictures. How he had told his friends that I was lame and boring. It was like I had been beaten further and further into the ground. I disposed of the phone and never looked at it again after that.
In December of 2012 I filed for divorce. I knew that our lives would be much better without him. I could not live with that forever and I wanted my son to have a better life. In August 2013 our divorce was final. Don't ask me why it took sooooooooo long. I am glad that it is over. He does do his every other weekends with his son and pay his child support, but that is all he is to his son. Frankly, my son deserves so much better than that. He deserve someone who will always be there for him, will support him in his dreams and ambitions, and let him know that he can accomplish anything that he sets his mind to. I will be that rock for my son. My life is in a much better place right now. Yes I am a single mom, but I wouldn't change what happened to me for anything else in the world. I have learned so much from that experience and my son is my greatest blessing.
Monday, October 10, 2016
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Birthday Party!
Today we celebrated my son's fourth birthday!! I spent $250 at Chuck E Cheese and $46 on specialized superhero cupcakes. I'm sure you are all thinking, holy sh**! That is expensive! Which it all was very much so, but in the end so worth it!!! I had the best time and he was loving it. Although, the ticket blaster made him cry, he ended up winning 1000 tickets because they felt bad. Way to work it little man ;) That whole three hours at Chuck E Cheese was the best time of his life. I can live off of Ramen for the next few weeks knowing that he had the best birthday ever.
Let's rewind a little and I'll take you back to the beginning..... My son was born September 27th 2012. He was nine weeks early. I had severe preeclampsia. I was admitted into the hospital on Monday, September 24th, for high blood pressure, water retention, and protein loss. Parker he was just fine, swimming and squirming inside my body. It was me who was not doing so well. By Thursday, it had started affecting my liver. I was in the worse pain of my life. My blood pressure was 196/112. They had to act fast before I started having seizures. By 9:10 pm I had delivered by son. He was 3 lbs and 17 inches long. I was not able to hold my son as he was hurriedly taken to be hooked to all sorts of monitors and put on oxygen. I too was immediately taken to my room and IV'd with medicine to keep from having seizures. I so badly wanted to see my son, to make sure everything was alright. I was constantly told not unless he is breathing on his own. Finally, at 10:42 pm they brought him to me. I didn't know how to hold something so tiny. He was so precious to me. I knew right then that he was going to be a fighter, the strongest little guy there was. I was ever so blessed for those few moments I had of being able to hold him before I was taken postpartum and he was taken to Newborn Intensive Care Unit.
It was hard spending four days in postpartum with no baby. I would hear the babies cry during the day and into the night, crying myself because my son was not with me. I went down to the NICU every day, three times a day, to see my son. He was in a incubator, so I was not able to hold him the first few day. I also was on medication that made me fall asleep randomly, and they worried I would drop him. But I never stopped going there to see him. The whole six weeks he was in the NICU, I continued to see him, three time a day. Then on November 12th 2012 I was able to bring him home. I was very excited, but also very scared. I had relied on nurses for the past six weeks and now I was on my own.
But,,,,as you can tell he is doing great as we just celebrated his birthday! He has grown into a tall four year-old. He is in the 90th percentile for his height and his head (he has a huge dome). His eyes are checked every year and each year his vision is still 20/20 (amazing!). He talks just like any other kid his age and even loves to talk back sometimes to his momma. He is a great little guy and I am ever so grateful and blessed to have my cute little Parker bug.
Let's rewind a little and I'll take you back to the beginning..... My son was born September 27th 2012. He was nine weeks early. I had severe preeclampsia. I was admitted into the hospital on Monday, September 24th, for high blood pressure, water retention, and protein loss. Parker he was just fine, swimming and squirming inside my body. It was me who was not doing so well. By Thursday, it had started affecting my liver. I was in the worse pain of my life. My blood pressure was 196/112. They had to act fast before I started having seizures. By 9:10 pm I had delivered by son. He was 3 lbs and 17 inches long. I was not able to hold my son as he was hurriedly taken to be hooked to all sorts of monitors and put on oxygen. I too was immediately taken to my room and IV'd with medicine to keep from having seizures. I so badly wanted to see my son, to make sure everything was alright. I was constantly told not unless he is breathing on his own. Finally, at 10:42 pm they brought him to me. I didn't know how to hold something so tiny. He was so precious to me. I knew right then that he was going to be a fighter, the strongest little guy there was. I was ever so blessed for those few moments I had of being able to hold him before I was taken postpartum and he was taken to Newborn Intensive Care Unit.
It was hard spending four days in postpartum with no baby. I would hear the babies cry during the day and into the night, crying myself because my son was not with me. I went down to the NICU every day, three times a day, to see my son. He was in a incubator, so I was not able to hold him the first few day. I also was on medication that made me fall asleep randomly, and they worried I would drop him. But I never stopped going there to see him. The whole six weeks he was in the NICU, I continued to see him, three time a day. Then on November 12th 2012 I was able to bring him home. I was very excited, but also very scared. I had relied on nurses for the past six weeks and now I was on my own.
But,,,,as you can tell he is doing great as we just celebrated his birthday! He has grown into a tall four year-old. He is in the 90th percentile for his height and his head (he has a huge dome). His eyes are checked every year and each year his vision is still 20/20 (amazing!). He talks just like any other kid his age and even loves to talk back sometimes to his momma. He is a great little guy and I am ever so grateful and blessed to have my cute little Parker bug.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Being a Mom
I've noticed all these recent blogs of moms who are dressed to the nines; makeup done nice, hair fancied, and clothes from the highest end boutique. The present to themselves to world as if their life is perfect. The children are well dressed, well behaved, and are just plain perfect. So it would seem in the pictures. I used to be consumed by these types of moms. I wanted the best clothes, the top end makeup, my hair always done. I expected my child to be perfect and always look nice.
Well.....I am here to tell you that is not the case. 5 out of the 7 days of the week, I don't care what I look like. I am lucky if I get ready for work. My child some days look like a homeless person, because I am late for work and I just threw some clothes on him and headed out the door. I am a single mom of one child, I work full time and I attend school full time and I am here to say that not everyday is beautiful roses, some days are very prickly thorns. I am a real mom and I want to tell you my story........(of course it'll have to wait until tomorrow, because I cherish any sleep I can get and it is past my bedtime :))
Well.....I am here to tell you that is not the case. 5 out of the 7 days of the week, I don't care what I look like. I am lucky if I get ready for work. My child some days look like a homeless person, because I am late for work and I just threw some clothes on him and headed out the door. I am a single mom of one child, I work full time and I attend school full time and I am here to say that not everyday is beautiful roses, some days are very prickly thorns. I am a real mom and I want to tell you my story........(of course it'll have to wait until tomorrow, because I cherish any sleep I can get and it is past my bedtime :))
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)